Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh

The wind swept in off Great Slave Lake. It came up the beach across the open space between my house and the lake, including the parking lot of the store. The store I run. It whipped snow against the sun porch windows in a hissing sort of sound. Still it was a sort of pleasant sound. When you have no place to go, no place else to be, the sound of inclement weather can have a soothing effect. Soothing is what I needed. It had been a long haul. A long six week build up to this. Christmas eve. I stood in the sun porch looking at the waves of white snow, slashing at the front of the house. Lina came and stood beside me. She was puzzled; I suspect at what I was looking at. It was not actually snowing. It snows a lot in November in Fort Resolution, lake effect snow they call it, people in Ontario would know what I mean. The snow that was blowing around now was the loose layer of snow that skirls constantly in winter in the subarctic. It is hard and granular like cornmeal. It circulates like water, flowing with the wind like some restless river of white. When you are walking into the wind it lashes your face and bows your head. Sometimes it is easier to walk backwards. But tonight, this blessed night. I had nowhere to go and nowhere else to be. I looked down into my beloved Lina’s eyes. The lights on the tree made her eyes sparkle even more than usual.
“A penny for your thoughts?” She said breaking the soothing sound of Mother Nature. “I am the happiest man on earth!” I said putting my arm around her. “Listen to that out there. There is no place I would rather be in all the world this night than here with you.” I said, and I meant it. She smiled. I looked around the room. It was full of Christmas, strings hung in the doorways with Christmas cards draped over them. A beautiful real tree stood fragrantly in the corner, festooned with lights and all the meager ornaments that I owned. There was a bowl of mandarin oranges on the coffee table and a plate of chocolates too, in case company came by. My house had never looked so good at Christmas. This was our first Christmas together. I had never made a big fuss over the holidays before. After all I was single. I usually got invited out for dinner. A year earlier my friends Andrew and Dixie had driven three hours out of there way to pick we up and take me to spend the holiday with them in Hay River. With home cooking and a glass of homemade wine and a wood fire it was swell. People always take care of single men on Christmas. They know there is nothing mote helpless than a single man. For without them my yuletide feast would have been a turkey TV dinner. The single man’s Christmas in a box.
This year would be different, yet not dissimilar from earlier ones as Lina and I were invited out for the holiday feast. “How perfect!” I said when Lina told me of the invitation.” No big meal to prepare. We just show up, eat, and leave.” I was beaming. Lina seemed less smug. “I doubt it will be that easy, everyone wants us to be there it will be difficult too get away.” I was unconvinced. I had visions of an early evening a comfy sofa, a holiday movie on the TV a glass of eggnog and my beautiful companion. How perfect could you get?
In the meantime there was midnight mass. We bundled up and headed out into the night. Lina was in her handmade pink parka with her white “bug” mitts. I call Lina Ladybug. She had a pair of white puffy mitts that made her hands look cartoon-like. Like the paws of some cartoon bug. I called them her bug mitts. She wore her mukluks and with her long hair flowing over the pink parka she looked angelic. I wore my muskrat hat and an old army surplus parka that Lina hated. We walked the short distance to the wonderful old Church. As we stepped outside the bell began to ring, the sound bright and crisp in the frosty air. We could see the front door of the church opening and closing as the crowd filed in. The place would be packed. The windows spilled light out onto the snow the stained glass making beautiful patterns. The smell of wood smoke hung in the air; it was one of those northern nights where the smoke only goes up so far then hangs like a shroud over the town. The power lines were cloaked in frost, looking like white ribbons strung gaily between the poles. The parking lot of the church was full of trucks and snowmobiles. Friends and neighbors were crowded on the steps waiting for the rest of their party to arrive. Everyone was ebullient and handshakes were the order of the day. We found a pew in the back and took off our Jackets. A stiff draft went right up our back every time the door opened and that was often. The service was wonderful, partly in Chipeweyan, partly in English. We sang many of the old carols. Of course at midnight we all exchanged handshakes, hugs and kisses. Then we all filed out into the black arctic night.
We were frozen when we got home. The wind was in our faces and the thin Sunday clothes we had on under our parkas weren’t up to the job. We were soon in our “comfies” as we call them T-shirts and pajamas bottoms. We still has some wrapping to do so we turned the TV to the seasonal music channel and wrapped gifts. We finished about three a.m. and headed to bed, beat, tired like we had never been, yet very happy that tomorrow meant no work, no ringing phones or trucks to unload. I was delighted too that there would be no dinner to prepare. We slept like logs. In the morning Lina woke me when she stirred. She is a tiny little thing and I am a big man she only woke me when she wanted me to wake. . We prepared a special brunch of eggs, hash browns bacon and toast. Then we opened our gifts. We made phone calls after the gifts were opened to wish distant family a Merry Christmas and to thank people for the gifts. My Mom had sent Lina a stocking full of gifts just as she had always done for me. It was Mom’s way of saying “Welcome to the family.” This touched us both very much. Soon, of course we would be getting each other stockings. This would be my Mom’s last hurrah. She was good at it. Always picking such an eclectic mix of the functional and mundane, and the impractical and luxurious. There might be a toothbrush and a deck of cards. A miniature box of fine chocolates. Always there was a toy, a car or a top, or a kaleidoscope. These last items would bring a smile and would often be the thing that brought the most joy on Christmas morning. It was Mom hanging onto a bygone time and for us it was pure nostalgia and joy. For a brief moment I was back in my parent’s living room opening my stocking while waiting for my Dad to wake up and shave.
After we had finished our phone calls we sat on the couch and had coffee. It was mid afternoon and we awaited the phone call that had been promised for the signal of when to go for dinner. Lina laid beside me her head on my shoulder her hair smelling wonderful. “I could lay here forever.” I thought to myself I almost wished the phone would never ring. And it never did. We drowsed and napped. Time went by. The short arctic day had long since passed. Lina got up and stretched. She glanced at the clock on the wall as she turned on the lamp. “They should have called by now. I wonder if something is wrong.” She took the phone and dialed the number. “No answer.” She said with a puzzled tone. “I’ll call next door.” She dialed that number too and a brief conversation ensued. Lina looked at me her face looked pained. “What’s wrong?” I asked standing. “Well nothing serious, but dinner is off, what will we do?” She looked so scared and so sad. She looked as though Christmas had just slipped away. I on the other hand was in a space of such great joy that only a natural disaster would shift me out of it.” I wanted our first Christmas to be perfect.” I put a finger to her lips to quiet her. “I will be right back.” I said and I put on my coat and went to the store, sometimes it is nice to be the Manager. I returned in a moment with my purchase. Lina met me in the kitchen. With a flourish I withdrew two long flat boxes and fanned them like a hand of playing cards. “Christmas in a box!” I said waving two turkey TV dinners in the air. “You learn a few tricks as a bachelor.” I said smugly. “But I wanted our first Christmas dinner together to be special.” Lina said still sounding a little down. “Someday we will look back on this and laugh.” I said taking her in my arms and rocking her back and forth. And so we sat in our beautiful living room, had a glass of wine and enjoyed a dinner of turkey, gravy with mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce. I looked at Lina with a funny look on my face. She smiled and we both laughed. In the decade that has passed since we have had some wonderful Christmas dinners. But Lina got her wish and my prediction has come true, it was a special dinner. If we had gone out to dinner it would have been great but I would not remember what we ate. I will never forget that TV dinner. My prediction that we would look back on it and laugh has come true with every passing season, at some point when we are alone, particularly if the snow is lashing the windows the subject of that dinner will come up and inevitably we will both end up laughing just as we did that blessed, memorable, holy night.